#can't believe it's been nearly a year since I started writing this fic

[im-a-king-baby]

Hiii!

I loved ELYN so much! And one scene I would love you to comment on is in chapter 14 when they're out by the lake, and they talk about their futures and their public personas, and I guess they both help each other get to thinking about their options in new ways:

“The first thing you ever said to me was that you weren’t allowed to talk about politics.” Simon bends down to pick a rock up from the grass, turning it over between his fingers. “I guess I’m just saying if this debate is live and there’s no script then this is your chance to tell people your story. To show them what kind of king you’re going to be.” He tosses the stone once in his palm, then throws it into the lake."

I really loved how this got Wilhelm thinking about what he wanted, and how he could go about to get it.

Thanks a lot 💜

No, thank YOU a lot <3 <3.

(This meme is bonus content for ELYN/Everybody Loves You Now which you can read on AO3 here. This post below the cut will contain spoilers.)

So the VERY FIRST line of YR fanfiction I ever wrote was: ‘The first thing Wilhelm ever said to Simon was, "I’m not allowed to talk about politics." It was a wake-up call, a reminder, that Wilhelm will always belong to Sweden first.’ It was originally for a different fic, then I stole it for a Simon POV ELYN-scene which I might post someday (snippet below), but that sense of responsibility is definitely one of the core parts of this kind of contemporary royalty story that is interesting to me. So the beginning of that quote is definitely something that was in my mind from the very beginning.

And it’s interesting to talk about this scene (and chapters 13/14 in general) and that progression to Wilhelm’s decision because it was hardly in draft 1, which jumped from Candace to the debate with very little in between. And then I kept expanding it, and rewriting it a million times (and then my beta was like ‘this isn’t working’ about some parts and I rewrote them several more times.) and these chapters more than a lot of the others I had to step back and really be like ‘what am I trying to achieve here, what are my character arcs, how do I balance that?’

The most important part of ELYN (to me) was that losing the vote had to be a Choice that Wilhelm made. I’ve seen some debates about whether people want an ending where Wilhelm abdicates or where the monarchy is abolished and I always think it misses the nuance that if monarchy is abolished it should be because Wilhelm abolishes it. To me, that’s what makes it an empowered narrative, rather than a story about society rejecting a queer king. And in ELYN, the other key plotline is this reconnection between Wilhelm and Simon and how that pushes them both to break out of these boxes they’re stuck in. On Simon’s side, Wilhelm is a reminder of his past and a wake-up call to how not-okay Simon is now. Pre the writing of 13/14 Wilhelm did had some influence from Simon, breaking the rules and pushing back on his mother and Minou, but I wanted there to be a clear character beat that tied Simon's return to Wilhelm’s making the decision to call for a 'no' vote.

Then it was a case of reflecting on the parallels of their lives, which was mostly this theme of being voiceless. Simon not being able to sing his own songs, vs. Wilhelm being handed speeches to read out and having to stick to the Official Story. And this is where Simon is kind of ahead of Wilhelm, in that he’s already had his ‘fuck it, they can’t stop me’ moment singing at the concert, so he gets to take the advice-giving role, which is nice to balance out their interactions a bit more so it’s not Wilhelm helping Simon all the time.

(In case you’re interested, this is one of the notes I sent my beta with the final rewrite (which kind of shows how I was approaching this transition from a character development perspective): ‘I’ve tried to make the split more clear so that in 13 his action is avoiding the debate (passive) and in 14 he switches to actively using the debate to change the vote.’)

Bonus snippet, here is the line from paragraph one in the Simon hotel scene:

The wind is bitingly cold. “Thanks, tack, love you all,” he calls down. “Have a good night!” He shuts the window, draws the curtains like maybe they’ll leave if they can’t see him. They won’t leave. They were there this morning when he went to an interview, then a doctor about the scratch in his throat, then an outfit fitting for the charity show. The numbers fluctuate but they’re never gone. He wonders how Wilhelm got past them. There must be another entrance, one that someone has decided Simme isn’t allowed to use, because they want to reward the loyalty of the fans freezing their fucking toes off to get a glimpse of him. Wilhelm wouldn’t risk being seen by them. Wilhelm knows how important is is to maintain his image. The first thing Wilhelm ever said to Simon was, ‘I’m not supposed to talk about politics.’ A wake up call. A reminder. That Wilhelm will always belong to Sweden first. And now Simon knows a little of how that feels, to have the expectations of thousands of strangers resting on his shoulders. Fortunately Simme’s image is much easier to maintain. A bit of smoky eye, a smile that promises sex, a never ending stream of photoshoots where the clothes are more or less optional. It all comes naturally: start at the neck of the bottle and work down.

[ismyteadoneyet]

How fortunate am I to have so many Things to love and be excited about, to appreciate and look forward to?

Things I feel so strongly about that they stumble into my mind, univited, at random times of the day? Things that spill into my speech and vocabulary without me noticing? Things that impact my vision to the point where everywhere I look, everywhere I go, I see ghosts of them?

How lucky am I to have so many Things I love and cherish enough for them to reshape my very person, change my beliefs and make me grow? Things that make my own loved ones see the Things out in the wild, and go out of their way to make sure I see them too?

How wonderful is it that I have Things that I love so much that the very act is deemed and dubbed "not normal", making my love for them seem like it's more than they are supposed to recieve? An out-of-the-ordinary and above-the-norm appreciation for the Things that make the people around me shake their heads, call me "silly".

My dear, beloved Things, may I always stay silly for you ❤️

[perexcri]

happy one year to her and one of my better opening lines for a fic <3

now, because i'm curious:

[beneathsilverstars]

My @isat-secretsanta-2024 gift for @pillowspace!! They said they’re fascinated by secret research lab AUs, and, in a case of incredible serendipity, that’s been my favorite trope since I was like 8 years old. So I may have gotten possessed and spent three weeks straight worldbuilding a whole entire thing.

So! This comic is my gift for Pillow, but I’m planning to write a fic set in the same AU eventually, titled Desperate Measures. It will take place in a modern day Vaugarde and focus on Odile, Loop, and Siffrin, alongside other more-or-less-familiar faces. And by “eventually” I mean this is now my highest priority project, but it’s big enough that it may be a couple months till I have anything else to show!

Journal transcript under the cut:

wavelength of 690nm, which means it would activate L cones nearly exclusively. If we're correct in our mapping of wavelength combinations to color terms in historical documents, then this would be considered a shade of "red".

I still don't know if I believe it. It seems fantastical, like I've become a character in a children's story, chosen to leave behind the world of the mundane and enter a realm of magic. Or like this is all a dream, and as soon as I'm about to see the shade my brain will realize it doesn't actually know how to show me something I've never seen before, so it'll put me in front of a full auditorium instead; and then I'll forget how to speak Vaugardian, or realize I'm not wearing any pants, or both, and then I'll wake with a start back in Ka Bue.

But however strange it seems, I can't think of any reason they'd have to lie about it. Why else all the NDAs? Why else contact me? So I must assume that it's true. That after years of trying to solve humanity's loss of color vision — a project that began long before I joined it, and that I expected to continue long past my time — I am about to simply be shown a perceivable color. That's the strangest part, really; that this breakthrough isn't related to the mechanisms of sight, but rather, the thing seen.

14/1/29

I thought perhaps they'd synthesized it somehow. Stumbled upon the correct combination of chemicals by accident. Maybe even invented a new sort of craft.

I didn't expect their source of red to be alive.

[babydollmarauders]

YOU’RE LOSING ME — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n is struggling to grasp the fact that she and jack have grown apart amongst his newfound nhl stardom

warnings: angst, neglectful jack, dying relationship, long intro (so sorry), alcohol

specific lyrics: “remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light. now, i just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time” and “how can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?” and “how long could we be a sad song 'til we were too far gone to bring back to life? i gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy and all i did was bleed as i tried to be the bravest soldier. fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me. i'm the best thing at this party (you're losin' me). and i wouldn't marry me either; a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her. and I'm fadin', thinkin' "do something, babe, say something" "lose something, babe, risk something" "choose something, babe, i got nothing" (i got nothing) "to believe, unless you're choosin' me"”

notes: idk how i feel about this. it’s been awhile since i’ve written an actual fic so i think my writing is a little rusty. there will be no part 2 to this one! i know y’all love when i make part 2’s to my angsty fics, but some fics i just wanna keep as angst and this is one of them <3

maybe we were naïve. young and innocent in thinking our love would last forever. that we could withstand everything the universe had to throw at us.

i could give us this; we did last past Jack’s rookie year. but maybe that’s when things started breaking. i couldn’t tell you for certain.

when we moved to New Jersey, we were going on three years into our relationship. we thought that milestone of three years meant we would be together forever.

we went apartment hunting, i opted to go into online schooling rather than on campus classes, late night whispers consisted of marriage and future children.

now, the last time i even brought up marriage, he told me he wasn’t ready for that. that he was at the peak of his career and didn’t want to spend time that could be used bettering his skills, to plan a wedding.

i spend most nights in an empty bed, the cold sheets serving as a harsh reminder that my boyfriend would rather go out with his teammates than spend time with me.

rather than the past early mornings of soft loving stares and cuddling on his bare chest, i now spend my mornings glaring towards my boyfriends sleeping figure; trying to calculate when he may have gotten home after i had already fallen asleep.

seven years. one-third of my life, spent with Jack.

no one ever said love would be easy; but no one ever told me it would be this hard either.

the mug in my hands is at risk of breaking from my grip, the coffee inside having gone cold. a cruel euphemism to how our relationship has cooled. the burning fire that it once was, now fizzling to dying sparks. but i still hold onto what’s left, because i’m not sure i know how to live a life without him anymore.

i sit curled up on the sofa, staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the New Jersey skyline. i still remember the day that Jack and i decided on this apartment, this room was a deciding factor. we loved the lighting, the way the sun shone through the windows and cast a golden haze over the rest of the apartment.

now i sit in the darkness nearly every night, wondering if this was the end of our relationship; if it’s time.

the worst part is that we keep going on. keep playing house. pretending that our relationship is still as happy as it once was.

‘i love you’s never became a rarity, still uttered past our lips multiple times a day. but i know his words only hold an empty promise now.

how can he say he loves me when he can’t tell that this relationship is killing me?

that this dynamic of our relationship becoming a chore has slowly broken me down?

our life is robotic now. we wake up, he leaves for practice, i stay home, i do school, he comes home for a pre-game nap, he leaves for a game, i still stay home, i go to bed, he comes home, repeat.

even worse when he’s away. what once started as facetime calls whenever he was free on a roadie, slowly died until it’s nothing but a few measly unsubstantial texts.

at first i thought maybe we were just going through a rough patch, that we would get through this, but now i fear we won’t.

***

my eyes track my boyfriend at the crowded rooftop bar as i nod my head, only half paying attention to what Ryleigh says.

Nico’s surprise party has been a success. for Nico, at least.

i, selfishly, thought i would use this party as an opportunity to grasp Jack’s attention. i wore the dress that he used to say was his favorite, but not once did he mention it. i curled my hair because i knew how much he loved it, but he didn’t compliment it how he usually does. i dolled myself up in hopes that it would glue him to my side. maybe even spark that possessiveness he used to hold for me.

but instead, all i got was a measly and empty ‘hey babe, you look nice.’ when i arrived, before he chased Dawson down to discuss some new bar he wanted to check out after their next win.

i spent the next hour following him around like a lost puppy, standing by his side as he spoke to his teammates. if he hadn’t had his hand resting on my lower back, i would’ve thought he forgot i was there. but somehow being forgotten would’ve felt better than being ignored.

i’m the best thing at this party, or at least i should be to him, and he barely spared me a second glance.

eventually, i saltily left to find the other wives and girlfriends. for the past three hours now, i sit with Ryleigh and Darya. Ryleigh is currently recounting she and Dawson’s date night last night.

the party has been dwindling down, our group of people among the bar slowly dispersing, giving their final birthday wishes to Nico and going home.

“what about you and Jack?”

“hmm?” i perk up at the mention of my boyfriend, dragging my line of sight away from said boy and back towards my friends.

“i asked about you and Jack. when was your guys’ last date night? how was it?” Ryleigh is only trying to be polite, i know that. but she’s only reminded me that Jack and i haven’t gone on a date in what has to be at least six months.

“honestly? i couldn’t tell you.” i confess. “i don’t even remember the last time we went on a date.”

“well, that’s not right! we should do a double date soon! i’ll have Dawson set it up.” she smiles. “ooh triple date! you and Yegor should come!”

“we’d love that!” Darya chimes in. i let out a polite smile, but i know it won’t happen. i’ve tried too many times to set up a date night and nothing ever comes from it.

“hey, baby. you ready to go?” Dawson saunters over, planting a kiss to his girlfriend’s cheek. Ryleigh nods, bidding Darya and i goodbye.

“hey, y/n? i think Jack was looking for you.” Yegor tells me as he comes over next, gathering his wife to leave for the night.

“he was?” my voice is filled with a pathetic hope, an excitement over even the thought of my boyfriend seeking me out. but when i look back to where i last saw him, he still stands next to his captain, laughing over something one of them said. “thanks, Shara.”

he smiles, the both of them now saying their goodbyes. and then there was one.

i sit by myself, lazily chewing the straw in my drink as i watch my boyfriend and his friend.

i quickly lose track of how long i sit there, ordering drink after drink. eventually, i stop watching Jack, opting for mindlessly scrolling through instagram instead.

“hey.” my head snaps up at Jack’s voice, watching as he finally joins me. my heart thumps in my chest, like i’m a teenager again, at the thought of spending time with him. “i think i’m ready to head home.”

my mood deflates, my shoulders slumping, but i nod, gathering my purse as Jack sets some cash on the bar top to cover my drinks from the night.

i wobble slightly as i stand, Jack’s hand coming up to hold onto my arm, making sure i don’t fall. heat spreads from the site of the touch, shivers racking my body.

“you okay, babe?” he chuckles, pulling me into his side as we walk to the elevator, pressing the down button and waiting for it to arrive. “how much did you drink?”

“i don’t know. maybe three? i lost count after the first hour alone.” i shrug, my words are slurred, a product of my tipsy state. “i started off with sprite, but i switched to gin and tonics once Darya left.”

Jack is silent as we get into the elevator, his brows furrowed and him seemingly in deep thought. the whole ride home is quiet, the air charged. i spend the whole drive with my head turned to look out the window. but as soon as we reach the parking deck of our apartment, getting out of his Range Rover, he speaks up again.

“you could’ve come and found me? i was just with Nico.” i’m silent for a moment, picking up my pace to try and reach apartment faster.

“i didn’t feel like being ignored again.” i shrug as we step through the door, the alcohol giving me obvious courage that i never had before.

“what do you mean ‘again’? i haven’t ignored you.” Jack follows behind me into our bedroom, his eyes tracking me as i sit on the bed and begin unfastening my heels.

“stop.” i sigh.

“stop what? y/n/n, when have i ignored you?” his genuine obliviousness hurts more than i thought it could. the fact that he didn’t even realize he was ignoring me; that it was just a subconscious reaction for him to push me aside.

“every day.” i tell him. my eyes start stinging with tears, finally ready to have the fight that i’ve so desperately been avoiding. but it’s obvious that Jack doesn’t feel the same.

“i’m sorry you felt that way.” he tells me, barely sparing another glance my way before he starts grabbing pajamas out of the dresser.

“you’re losing me.” my words are choked out in a whisper, but i know he hears them because i watch as he stiffens, slowly turning around.

“what?”

“Jack, this doesn’t feel like a relationship anymore. it feels like a job. a chore.” i confess. “it doesn’t feel like you love me anymore and i need you to just say it. because i love you too much to keep going on like this.”

“y/n-”

“we barely talk, Jack.” i cut him off. “when we do, we’re struggling through empty small talk. you’re barely home, and when you are, you don’t try and spend time with me. i sit in this house, alone, even when you’re here.”

“what are you talking about? y/n, we’ve been together for almost seven years. we’ve been through so much together.” his words are harsh, defensive.

“exactly! i gave you all my best me’s- i gave you my teenage years, i gave you all of my best years! i gave you all my empathy when you were being called a bust. when you were struggling in your rookie year and at your lowest. i sat here and comforted you after every loss! i stayed here and cried and tried to be brave every time you were gone. i defended you to everyone!”

tears roll freely down my cheeks, my nose becoming stuffy and my throat tightening. i’ve risen from the bed now, still keeping my distance from him though.

“and what do i have to show for it? an empty apartment? an empty relationship? we used to spend hours talking about marriage and our future. now, the last time i tried to bring that up, you all but told me you didn’t want to marry me.” i scoff. “and i can’t blame you, i wouldn’t marry me either; a pathological people pleaser.”

“don’t say that, please.” he whispers.

“but all i wanted was for you to see me, Jack! i’m here! i have feelings! i know it’s hard to believe, but i’m a person too! i need love! not whatever this has been.” my words fade off at the end, breaking off into sobs.

Jack’s eyes are red, tears of his own slowly descending as we stand in silence.

“do something, please. say something.” i plead, furiously wiping at my tears. i swallow a lump in the throat as he finally takes a step forward.

“i’m sorry.” his voice is shaky, breaking midst sentence. “i’m so sorry i didn’t know you were feeling this way. i’ve been so wrapped up in hockey and the team that i haven’t been here. not fully, at least.

“i took you for granted. i guess you’ve been this dependable force in my life for so long that eventually i forgot that you need more than just my presence.

“i do love you, y/n. i can’t imagine my life without you. i’ll be better, i promise. just, please, don’t leave.” he begs.

Jack steps forward, closing the distance between us and taking my face in his hands.

“i need you. i’ll always choose you.” his hands shake on my cheeks as he pulls me into a kiss. he pulls away, heaving out a broken mix between a sigh and a sob. “i’m so so sorry.”

“we can fix us. i believe that. but please, don’t put me through this again.” i beg, laying my forehead against his.

“never.”

[mjanelupinblack]

starving creatures | chapter one 🖤

pairing: xu minghao x reader // jun x reader (mainly lol)

description: starving creatures have arrived at your homeland in forks. little do you know, they not only intend to drain the blood out of you... they'll also to break your heart in two.

genres: slowburn (please bare with me), fluff, angst, vampire!au

warnings: blood drinking, lot of blood related themes, repressed emotions, family issues, miscommunication, kinda toxic friendship with cheol? blood and smut will be mixed. emotionally and physically starved vampires oops. did i mentioned blood?

minors dni!!!

fic playlist 🖤

w/c: 3.2k

a/n: like i said, slowburn as f*ck. you'll have to wait to have fun with jun and hao but it'll be worth it if you bare with me. also i am having so much fun writing this omg ^_^ english isn't my first language and i don't have beta readers so kind feedback is welcome <3

CHAPTER 1

Joshua Hong had been the first for many things in his life: the firstborn, the first brother to complete his education, the first student among his classmates to perform a solo surgery, and one of the first doctors to try chloroform for his medical procedures, as anesthesia wasn't nearly as developed as it is now.

He was also the first one to be turned.

No other outcome could have been expected. People like him - young, enthusiastic, seemingly blessed by the gods - had to have some divine punishment waiting for them. Josh's penance would be to live forever with his luck... and to have it slowly fade into misfortune.

As a doctor, he never thought life could be eternal. He had witnessed all types of miracles at Paris Salpêtrière, but no soul had ever gotten to escape the sweet lullabies of death. At first, he felt terrible about it. Doctor Pierre had told him to get used to it, as God only gives special treatment to his friends. Little did he know, Pierre was a close friend of Him. He didn't notice it until he found himself digging a blade into his tutor's jugular vein.

No pulse could be found, but Pierre's breaths were still steady.

"Let's go, Josh! Everything's packed!" Vernon shouted as he got into the driver's seat.

"Do we really have to go through this again?" Jun complained, as if it would change anything. For the last time, he stared at the California house that had been their home for the past ten years.

He always got too attached.

"C'mon, man, you know it's better this way," Vernon replied.

From the passenger seat, Joshua looked at them. Minghao rubbed his brother's back and gently pushed him into the car despite his deep and frustrated sighs. This might be the worst part. But upon reflection, the worst part might also involve the one where locals started noticing their lack of aging, leading him to search for a new town.

"Jun, you can't be mad..." Vernon tried.

"Hum, yes, I can be mad," Jun countered. "And I can't believe you all think it's possible to move from California to this nowhere town."

"This 'nowhere town' is called Forks, alright? And it's your new home, so you better get used to it."

Nowhere Town. That's a good name, as it reflected all the peace Joshua had been praying for since Junhui and Minghao joined his and Vernon's odd nomadic, supernatural-like lifestyle.

"It's always cloudy there. You'll get to hang out more often with your friends."

"Sorry, what friends?" Jun asked sarcastically.

"You'll make friends eventually, Jun. Stop whining," Minghao said.

You didn't believe Forks was the best town in the world either. The landscape, always covered by mist and the ground sticky wet from the most recent storm, looked exactly as it did when you were born. You finished cleaning the house an hour before the awaited arrival. The large windows were all cleaned, not a single stain preventing passersby from catching a glimpse inside.

The house was empty for now, as it had been since the heartbreaking death of the previous inhabitants. You sat by the porch, trying to catch your breath and wondering what the new family looked like. Were they old? Were they nice? Certainly, they wouldn't want anyone to disturb them, otherwise, they would have chosen to live closer to the town center.

Surrounded by trees and animals, your aunt's house was known for attracting people who appreciated solitude.

That's the first thing you learned about Minghao.

There is a van approaching from a distance. The new renters arrived half an hour earlier than you planned. You stand up quickly, shaking the dirt off your pants when, for the first time, you see his face.

You won’t be able to forget that face.

"Y/N, right? We talked on the phone yesterday," one of the guys says. There are four of them now. By his introduction, you supposed you are talking to Mr. Chwe.

"Yes! It's so nice to meet you all, Mr. Chwe."

You shake his hand, surprised to find Mr. Chwe, a doctor, looks more like a student who just pulled an all-nighter.

He also has the temperature of an old man.

"Just Vernon, please," he said.

You had a speech planned, but right now you're having trouble remembering what you were going to say. There's a man behind Vernon who looks at you with tender and compassionate eyes. You assume he's Joshua, the one who responded to your emails.

"I'm so sorry my aunt couldn't make it today. As I told you, she's been sick. It would be difficult for her to climb all the way up here. I'll give you the tour, if you're comfortable with it."

Vernon shows his understanding. The same goes for Joshua, who breaks into a sincere smile and thanks you for being so attentive. It's almost as if they're acting like parents. And then, there are the kids...

"Actually, I'm tired. I'm sure we can figure out the house ourselves."

"I could really use some sleep."

"We've stayed in bigger houses anyway."

"Jun, Hao... Enough of that."

Jun and Hao; you're not sure which one takes your breath away more. With their silky, white, shoulder-length hair, they stand in the woods like fairies in a fairytale.

But you imagined fairies to be... more polite, perhaps.

"It's okay. It must have been a long ride for them. I'll leave you to rest." You tranquillize Mr. Chwe with a smile, but think, Morons, in your head.

Almost as if he heard what you said, Jun's face contorts in a gesture that appears both surprised and offended.

"Do you all see that little house right there?" you ask, pointing down into the distance past the trees. "That's where I live. Just call me if you need anything. We're the only neighbors you have around, besides the Boo Family. Oh, and I almost forgot. They asked me to leave you a present since they won't be able to come and say hello today. I left it inside."

"A present?" Minghao asks, his forehead furrowed and a fucked up temper. It's as if you'd just left a bomb or something in their kitchen.

You feel small under his gaze.

"Yes... it's just a beautiful mirror."

•••

Vernon was the second one to get turned.

He graduated from uni, having already killed a man. He tasted his blood, vomited to stop feeling sick, but then got the imperious need to drink from him again.

“Who the hell is this Boo Family?” Jun asks once they get to the house. The mirror is still covered in the living room. There’s no use in unwrapping it as they can’t use it anyways.

“Some old friends.” Vernon answers, face paler than usual.

He made a vow to never to steal a life again. No matter how hungry he was, no matter how weak he could get, he had a strong set of values he planned to spend the rest of his non-desired eternity with, even if people told him it wasn’t the natural thing to do.

“Explain yourself.”

“No explanation needed… Just go to your room, Jun.”

“Are you grounding me or something? I thought we were over with all this weird family shit.”

“I could be your grandfather, how is that weird to…”

“Boo Seungkwan is the man who brought Vernon into this life, okay?” Joshua explains.

Josh had been his mentor. Studying hard for his degree, Vernon was only seven years younger than him and had a mind full of dreams. One of them was to become a doctor as brilliant as Joshua, which, after a lot of sacrifice, he did. But he never thought his desire to be like Joshua would put him into a world so dark and twisted. When he said he wanted to be like Joshua, he never imagined… this.

“There’s your answer.” Vernon says.

He wouldn’t have endured sane this long without Joshua as a friend.

“Don’t worry, mate, we are leaving this place.”

The house is big. Of course, they lived in much larger houses than your auntie’s, as Jun said. But this house… There is wood covering the walls and enormous trees blocking the sunlight from the windows.

Vernon asks himself, is it always going to be like this?

Will Josh and he finally be able to take daytime shifts? Will they be able to walk around town without having to worry about deadly eruptions on their skins?

Sunglasses and long sleeves, then they are ready to go. The offer is tempting.

“There’s no need.”

“What do you mean?” Joshua asks in disbelief.

“I mean… We already paid the girl.”

“And she can keep the money. We’re leaving.”

Jun seems thrilled. What will their new location be? Bahamas? Maybe France? Oh, he loves pain au chocolat! Now it is gonna be great.

“I want to give it a try, Josh,” Vernon says, much to Jun’s disgrace. “Yejin is dead. And there’s no other reason for the Boo family to attack me again.”

“Yejin? Like your ex-friend Yejin?” Minghao asks.

“More like the maniac, out-of-her-mind-obsessed-with-Vernon, Yejin.” Joshua corrects.

“How did you know about her, Hao?”

“I might have stumbled upon your diaries once. But then we moved, and I don’t know where you hide them anymore. So I’m kinda stuck in the middle of the tale.

“Well, well, well… Looks like we know very little of each other to be part of the same family, Mr. Chew. Or should I call you Doctor?”

Jun disappears from the room, not caring for Joshua, who wants to say something to him. Even if he couldn’t move at this dazzling speed, he would’ve been able to escape the situation with equal grace.

That’s the way he is.

“Welcome to Forks, then.”

•••

“So… the new renters are a piece of shit.” your friend Cheol says. It's nice to catch up after a whole summer apart, not seeing or hearing anything from him.

Your ankles ache from the cold wind that bites as you walk the last stretch to school.

“That’s not what I said,” you explain. “The doctors were very nice to me. But the young ones… This guy Jun was in a terrible mood and treated everyone like shit. The other brother was…”

Threatening? But gut-wrenchingly beautiful? Eyes so deep like sinking ships after crashing with an iceberg?

“…a bit serious, I don’t know. When the doctors asked me if there was a highschool nearby, I thought I'd get to make some friends.”

“Are you saying I’m not enough of a friend?”

Okay, that was a low blow and you need to respond to it.

“The whole summer you went missing. So yes, at some point your friendship felt short for me.”

Many years of friendship taught you that you can open up with Cheol whenever you feel sad or lonely. You arrive at school and identify some of the friends he spent the whole summer with. A sight escapes your mouth. You love the guys, but you kinda wish your alone time with Cheol would have lasted longer.

And he notices.

“We can hang out later. Just you and me,” he promises, grabbing both of your hands. “We can sneak and spy on this jackasses’ house. Then you’ll watch them nose-picking and realize they’re not that big of a deal.”

“Voyeurism? That 's the date?”

Cheol pinches your nose in between his fingers and smiles playfully. Same old smile. Same old gesture that makes you feel safe. Even after a whole summer of not knowing what the hell is going on in his head.

“I know you. Don’t act like you don’t like to get into other people’s lives.”

Touché. You admit there’s a certain rush of adrenaline growing in your veins whenever you think about getting into your new renters’ intimacy. There's a certain power that comes with knowing about other people's secrets. Even when you don’t plan to use any of those against them.

“I’ll think about it.”

“I take it as a yes.”

“Take it as a maybe I'd rather go grab some coffee and not do such creepy things!”

You hit your friend in the arm playfully. When they see you coming, the gang welcomes you with a hug and some cheering. Hoshi tells you about how your best friend drank his blood’s weight in beer and none of the parties were near as entertaining as when you are there to join them.

You don’t believe him. You know he’s only saying this to make you feel better. But you have nothing against white lies when they serve their purpose.

“Maybe invite me next time?” you say, knowing that you are asking for the impossible.

Soonyoung looks at Dino, who answers without saying a word. Cheol pulls you closer to him. Silent and almost surrounding you with his arms.

“I really don’t think you’d like it,” Soonyoung says. “Plus you’ve been busy training, from what I heard.”

Of course. Training. You are not sure what Soonyoung must have heard about it, or who he must have heard it from. But this summer, you have been leaving your house at five in the morning everyday with the intention of running your sacred five miles before seven a.m—or whatever number of miles you could do before starting to feel like you’re about to pass out. It has been awesome; wind whipping your skin and not a single thought crossing your head. Just a pleasant sensation of hurt that would leave your legs shaking and your mind blank.

After that, you’d return home just in time to give your auntie her meds.

And then you’d like to run away again.

“Are you getting into a competition or something?” Dino asks.

“Nah. I was just doing it to clear my mind. But who knows… I’m fast.”

“Maybe I could help your train then”

Around the corners, or maybe even a couple of blocks away, there’s a soul with the extramundane ability of hearing your thoughts and sayings with just the gaze of your silhouette.

“Hum… who the hell are you?” Seungcheol asks him.

He wasn't there just minutes ago. You must have been too lost in your own thoughts as the sight of your neighbor makes your heart skip a beat.

Maybe he wants you to introduce him?

“Guys, this is Jun. My auntie rented the house to his family, so he and his brother are new here.”

“Great way to introduce yourself, mate. You’re an asshole, from what I heard?”

You step over your friend’s foot, hoping to subtly silent him. Damn, Seungcheol has a big mouth.

“Actually, I’m here to apologize,” Jun says, much to your surprise. And then he looks at you like no one else is there. “My manners weren’t the best. We had a long trip from California so I’m sure you’ll understand.”

“California? You’re a ghost, man.”

Ignoring Soonyoung’s comment, your neighbor continues trying to apologize.

“I just wanted to let you know that whatever neighborly thing you need, you can count on my family and me.”

Just by the way they’re silent, analyzing every bit of him but actually finding nothing, you can tell that the guys already hate Jun without even knowing him.

And for that, you feel relieved.

“Thank you, Jun. I really appreciate it.”

“My pleasure.”

•••

You live in a place so different than Mr. Chwe and Mr Hong’s new house. It only has a few rooms; none of them fancy and only spacious enough for you to sleep and change in there. The little wooden cabin remains hidden in between the trees, all of them prominent enough to prevent your house from being in plain sight. Rain has to make an effort to fall in between thick leaves. And if it wasn’t because of the oscillating movement of your auntie’s chair, Joshua would´t have found it.

He has always been a good neighbor. It’s a signature part of the made up story he tells about himself every time his life changes. So there he is, standing on the porch of your house with a basket of freshly baked cookies in hand. He expects to find you there and maybe ask you a couple of questions about the Boo family and your relationship with them.

“You didn’t have to” you say, receiving the basket in your hands with guilt wrinkling your eyebrows. “Really. I feel terrible. I don’t have anything to give you in return.”

“You’ve given more than enough. This is just a thank you. To you and your aunt.”

Some persistent raindrops have started to pierce through the trees.

“Come in, I insist” you say, opening the door fully even though it’s kinda messy inside. You haven’t found the time to clean up and embarrassment shows in the crimson red of your plumpy cheeks. “You won’t make it to the lodge before the rain. And I was about to make some coffee to warm up anyways.”

Joshua knows perfectly that he will be able to reach the lodge even before the next drop of rain. Despite that, he decides to enter your house and take a seat at your table, waiting for the cloudburst to stop, like any normal person. In front of him, there’s a cup of coffee. He asked for it without sugar or milk because he wouldn’t be able to enjoy those flavors if you put them in there anyways. Of course, the story he tells is different. It’s easier to explain he’s grown accustomed to preparing his coffee bitter in the rush of his night guards.

“So, California…”

Your friend Hoshi’s observation over Jun had been rude but sharp. California’s sun had rejected Joshua’s family in an inexplicable way.

“Yes, we stayed there for a short time,” he answers. For him, that is not a lie. Ten years really is a short time. “We have a condition. It makes us sensitive to the sun. So long term wasn’t an option.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry for that...”

“It's okay. We just have to be careful. Forks seems like the perfect place for that.”

“Trust me. Forks can give you a lot of trouble but sunny days won’t be one.”

Joshua takes a sip of his coffee. It doesn’t taste like anything, but it’s reassuring to see you enjoy the cookies he baked but can’t taste.

“A lot of trouble?” He asks, eyes full of curiosity. “What do you mean by that?”

Coming from California and —from what Vernon told you— previously New York, you imagine your neighbor has no idea of the consequences of living in a place like Forks.

“Well, a small town can be a vast hell if you don’t keep things to yourself,” you explain. “Forks is amazing. But there’s only a few habitants and they all get bored easily, so rumors fly.”

Joshua’s well aware of how deadly rumors can be. Especially when truth revolves around them.

“Do you have secrets to entertain us with, Mr. Hong?” you mock him, feeling a little more comfortable around your neighbor who’s not only a kind person but also a great baker.

His eyes get all wrinkly when he smiles.

“I’m afraid we’re gonna bore you all,” he answers “And please don’t call me Mr. Hong.”

“Fair enough.” You say, while cleaning leftover cookies from the corner of your mouth.

“What about you, do you have secrets?”

You laugh at the question. Maybe it’s because you know the answer damn well.

“Of course. We all do.”

masterlist | next chapter

[inkedtae]

ᥫ᭡bee's tumblr wrapped (2024)ᥫ᭡

it took me embarrassingly long to make this banner.... anyway a special thanks to dia ( @yoonia ) for tagging me to do this ! i didn't do much writing this year but i wanna do this so imma do it lol

this year kinda fucked me sideways multiple times. it took months of therapy and lots of courage to sit myself down and reconnect with not only my writing, but myself. i have been feeling so lost but diving back into passions like writing has given me the confidence i needed to find my direction again. i still have no idea where i am supposed to be or what i am meant to do. but, right now, it feels like at least i know which way i am going, and that's forward.

thank you so much to everyone who has continued to read, comment, reblog, like, and interact with me and my work. i don't think i deserve any of it and it's incredibly surreal that i still got asks about my fics and series. i can't believe that a lot of these fics were not only read once, but twice. like that's fucking insane to me. so thank you so much. and thank you to everyone behind the scene who has supported me from banners to reading things over. jen ( @anobodyslove ) is the most wonderful, sweet, beautiful person i have ever had the pleasure of connecting with. from late night editing to long walks talking about every and any thing, you are my favourite human and i love you!

okay, okay, enough sappiness!! let's dive in!

₊˚✧ OVERALL STATS ✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ fics published: 9 : ̗̀➛ series completed: 1 : ̗̀➛ series ongoing: 4 : ̗̀➛ words written: 122,258 : ̗̀➛ fics to be published: 24 (i don't wanna talk about it...)

‎‧₊˚✧ FIRST FIC OF 2024 | published : february 17 ✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ xi. rotten angelcake ⇾ kth. | s2l, ceo au, sugar daddy au | 16.5k

retrospection: ahh my first attempt at returning to tumblr after a long unplanned hiatus. if you were ever curious on what kind of headspace i was in, this fic is the perfect explanation. the rotten angelcake series has been my form of self-indulgence and journaling since the very first chapter. however, i completely threw myself into this chapter of the series. all my anger, frustration, regret, confusion, sadness was poured into this chapter. it's so emotionally charged and personal, i almost didn't post it. i haven't even looked at it again before this moment and that was just to retrieve the link lol it's just carrying a very dark part of my life that i have been trying to pull myself out of. but, while it does hold so much for me, i do not regret writing or publishing it. it's all part of the self-healing process ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

‎‧₊˚✧ LONGEST FIC OF 2024 | published : october 3 ✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ the underground ⇾ bgc. | strangers to lovers, boxer au, dark themes | 29.1 k |

retrospection: oof this fic! so i wrote this for channie's b-day and one of my favourite chantober rituals, especially for his b-day, is to write the most unhinged, dark story. i have never been able to get the idea of boxer, mafia boss!chan ruining me in front of his friends out of my head, so i wrote about it. i lowkey wish i could make it a series or add an epilogue but i vowed to finish my ongoing series first before starting another one. it's just such a fun fic with a lot of grittiness. i don't think the nearly 30k words was enough either tbh but it will have to do for now ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

‎‧₊˚✧ PERSONAL FAVOURITE FIC OF 2024 | published : october 17 ✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ between roar and whisper ⇾ bgc. | hogwarts au, pwp, e2l | 9.4k |

retrospection: this was probably the easiest to write because there was very little worldbuilding required and i got to focus on the sexual tension between these two "enemies". it was short, sweet, to the point, and the smut was so fucking hot—ugh! i need slytherin!chan to make me cockdumb too! i don't think i will ever be over this fic and i kinda wanna write an epilogue for it too but i will stop myself because i am already overcommitted ˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆｡☆

‎‧₊˚✧ LAST FIC OF 2024 | published : december 31 ✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ marked by krampus ⇾ kth. | twisted christmas au, monster kink, s2l | 11.1k |

retrospection: okay i just finished this fic yesterday so i don't know how much real introspection i can truly muster but i will do my best. as the last fic of taecember, as well as the year, i decided to indulge in my very big, very embarrassing monster kink. i was kind of focused on that which meant that the worldbuilding for this fic was not my best. i could have done better...anyway! this may be the final fic for 2024 but it will not be the final monster au i write ᡣ • . • 𐭩 ♡

‎‧₊˚✧ HONOURABLE MENTION | published : november 1 ✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ elixir of the damned ⇾ bgc. | vampire au, s2l | 19.5k |

retrospection: this fic was written as the last fic of chantober, but it had been in my drafts for about two years. now i obviously do not know bang chan in real life, but he seems to wear his heart on his sleeve and is very forthcoming about his struggles on camera. so this fic was heavily inspired but the sentiments of sadness and wistfulness, about missing his family in australia. i remembered this v-live where he was back home and he was doing his chan's room (which omg i miss so much) in his old room. and the room had become his little brothers. and i just couldn't stop thinking about what that must feel like. just imagine walking back into a familiar room and it looks the same, like the layout is exactly how you left it, but all the stuff in there does not belong to you. how uncanny must that have felt? to tiptoe around a room that was once yours? idk it just inspired his character in this fic and i hope that i was able to capture that well enough ૮₍´˶• . • ⑅ ₎ა

‧₊˚✧ SPECIAL EVENTS OF 2024 | published : november 1 ✧˚₊‧

: ̗̀➛ chantober 2024 & taecember 2024

retrospection: god, i love bias months so much—even though they wreck me by the end. being able to fully express my love and devotion to my biases just makes me feel so full and happy. it's like even if my day might be shitty, it's okay because i have something to work towards and look forward to. i also have the chance to celebrate both chan, and taehyung with you, which is always so exciting and fun! i literally cannot wait to do it all over again in 2025 ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

‧₊˚✧ TOP TRACKS OF 2024 ✧˚₊‧

𐙚 hurt — newjeans 𐙚 espresso — sabrina carpenter 𐙚 i like it — stray kids 𐙚 red lights (bang chan, hyunjin) — stray kids 𐙚 venus fly trap — marina 𐙚 work — ateez 𐙚 perfect night — le sserafim 𐙚 chk chk boom — stray kids 𐙚 mon amour — gemini 𐙚 na — hwasa

‧₊˚✧ GOALS FOR 2025 ✧˚₊‧

𐙚 stick to my posting schedule !! (writing two fics a month) 𐙚 properly plan ahead for bias months (i'm literally the worst at this) 𐙚 finish the rotten angelcake series 𐙚 breathe... (sometimes i forget that i just need to take a minute and breathe)

many thanks again to dia for tagging me, this was really fun ♡︎ i wanna tag jen ( @anobodyslove ) , dee (@awrkives ) , ghost ( @ghxstwrites ) , lixie ( @bunnliix ) , minerva ( @yourlocaljonghoe ) , and stardust ( @skzdust ). there's no pressure to do this !!

♡¸.•' happy new year lovelies '•.¸♡

[k-s-morgan]

Hi Morgan,

Are you doing okay?

Haven't heard from you in a while, hoping you're safe.

Another ask: How are you doing lately? 💐💗

-----

Thank you both for worrying and caring! Unfortunately, this month started very, very badly for me - some problems I anticipated, others not so much.

The health of my pigeon (the one I saved from a cat) took a turn for the worse. She nearly died. The latest Russian missile attack caught me in a vulnerable building and it was terrifying, especially since it happened after we were told that the attack was probably over. First the lights began to flicker and then the explosions began.

And to top it all, that very day, before I recovered from the attack, I got news that the department at the company where I'm working is shutting down. Just like this. No warning, no time to prepare for anything - one second, and I'm out of job. I can't convey the degree of my shock and horror. Forgetting the fact that I've been working here for 6 years, that I dedicated a lot of my soul to it, to find myself without the means of survival so suddenly in the middle of the war sent me straight into the abyss.

For the first days, I couldn't do anything. I felt sick, I couldn't eat or read or write. It's tragic to be reminded once again of how enslaved I am by the system. Without my job, I can't support my family, I can't take care of my pets, I can't help pigeons recover, etc. I haven't felt this weak, scared, and vulnerable for a long, long time.

It was six days ago. Today, I finally felt a little better. My pigeon seems to be recovering tiny bit by tiny bit, and I have a job interview ahead. That said, if you can support me on Patreon or PayPal (emberlynn48@gmail.com), I'd really appreciate it - and my huge thanks to those who are already helping me! Even if the interview is successful and I find the job quickly, I'm still obviously losing a chunk of my would-be salary because of the time lost in between. It's not downright catastrophic, my mother still has her job, so we'll survive, but it's tough. Much tougher than usual.

As for writing, I didn't touch anything for the past week, but since I saw some vague light at the end of the tunnel again, I'm gradually getting a grip on myself and diving back into my fics. I can't believe that Those Gentle Slopes final chapter is still ongoing, lol. This arc seems to be endless.

[sechsviciado]

when doves cry

reaperken/touka ; written circa nov/dec 2022

no warnings or ratings really?

-

so after my slight reaperken/touka rambling yesterday i figured that i really have nothing to lose from posting this small snippet of a fic (oneshot??) thats been sitting in my google drafts for nearly the past two years; if this is crappy i can always just delete it but ive wanted to contribute a bit more to keep tokyo ghoul tumblr alive so i figure why not?

i felt so smart when i came up with the title since ken was a dove during that entire reaper arc until the events of cochlea. i didnt really pay attention to prince's lyrics in the song but looking back at it now i guess some apply? not really any inspiration was gained from it though, i just grew up with music from the 60s-90s so the title kind of came to my mind and it happened to be a prince reference. not really any ratings or warnings yet?? its nowhere near finished and im not sure if ill even finish it because i feel my writing heavily lacks.

anyway, without further ado

how many months had it been?

it had been months — years — since he recalled feeling this exact way. of course, haise had felt this way too, but it would never compare to the feelings he had for her before that brief period of time where he had lost recognition of everything and everyone who once meant something to him. ironically, it's when he felt most at peace with the butterflies in his stomach, beating against his rib cage and the cage surrounding the longing which could never be released. he’s regained his memories now, but he knew something was different within him even when he laid his glassy eyes on her again on that first visit to :re as sasaki haise. why did he feel so entrapped and yet so wrongly distant even when he had no recollection of her prior on that first visit to the cafe?

it would never be the same.

it would never compare to the feeling of falling in love with her and the realization that came with it. the realization that left him in a state of both a mix of surprise and agitation for days and with a feeling that could only be described as his heart skipping a beat and yet crumbling at the same time. it would never happen, would it? he had chosen to face that reality when he was still his old self, naive and too ashamed of his actions to actually face her after all the pain he caused her as a result of the pain which engulfed his entire life, too. too ashamed to accept his new reality, hiding behind his eyepatch — too ashamed to admit he had fallen in love so easily. he wasn't any different now.

haise may have fallen in love with her through the lens of a reborn figure with a fresh start and no boundaries to stand behind (apart from his obvious shyness and the weird sense of familiarity), but it just occurred by fate. the same fate that had snatched him from her years prior had found a way to bring him back into her arms and make him belong to her once again. he can't help but believe that maybe there was some future destined between them; the embittered part of his heart and soul makes him realize even that destiny would probably be cursed or filled with further strife.

though he supposed that didn't matter now.

not when he was even more distant from her than when he was an amnesiac with no recollection of her apart from the same old feeling of confusing comfort and longing. it's humorous and yet painful to think about how low he'd fallen in this aspect, not even being able to face her once again. despite his older age, he was still just a boy when it came to this same ancient rush, wasn't he? it doesn't matter. she surely didn't want anything to do with him anyways, especially not after everything that he's done. he's betrayed her and everyone who was once a part of him once again, and he’s chosen to accept that painful reality ever since he vowed to stop dreaming and flung tsukiyama off that building. facades all break down eventually.

though he supposed that didn't matter now, either.

he’d be disposed of soon enough before any of this could matter at all — before hinami was to be the one to disappear from the purgatory that was life as a ghoul. there was no heaven and there was no hell; there was no afterlife. heaven was bliss and safety on earth while hell was anguish and pain.

it was selfish of him to hope touka would feel any sort of pain after all of the grief and rage he's put her through time and time again, but he hoped he'd at least be remembered by the person he felt he loved most in this lifetime — the one who hadn't thrown him aside but who had instead built a nest for him as if though her life depended on it. he can't help but wonder… he’s had everyone he's ever known and cared for snatched from his hands by the same twisted fate that led him to await his upcoming death, he doesn't know if the puddle of both coldness and warmth in his stomach is either fear or love.

he'd truly cherish any memory he had of her before he’d be killed.

he vaguely remembers telling her, years ago, that he'd be sad if she died; he just hopes she would be saddened at his death, too.

[sister-of-sin-666]

Music Of The Night🥀

Ghost X Phantom of The Opera

MNDI please 18+ only

Terzo X F! Reader

Summery: (A phantom of the opera AU! with Terzo as the Phantom) After opening night of the opera, you find a gift from you unseen angel what will you do when he finally reveals himself to you.

A/N: Hello Everyone! This is my first ever ghost fic, and i've been HUNTING down a fic of Terzo as Phantom from Phantom Of The Opera and i decided to write it myself lol I really hope you guys enjoy it, this is Part One, i'm currently writing part two! hopefully it will be out very soon!

Story Warnings: Mentions of a father passing , mostly tension building in this chapter, more warnings will be listed as each chapter progresses

Chapter One: I Feel Your Presence Amongst Us

Opening night, I’m still in shock at how quickly everything that came to be. My first performance as a lead in the Opera and I'm still not sure how to fully wrap my brain around it. Backstage is buzzing with stagehands who can barely stand with how much liquor they've consumed, actors who are more concerned with their affairs than the characters they are supposed to be portraying, then there's me, too nervous to even move a muscle. Every time I breathe my breath hitches in the back of my throat and I think how can I even perform when I can't even catch my breath. I can hear the audience start to settle into their seats through the thick red velvet curtains that separate me from them. I can already feel their gaze piercing right through me. It's at that moment I feel a light but firm tap on my right shoulder that nearly makes me jump out of my skin. I turn to find Madam Imperator with a warm and gentle smile to meet my weary and vacant stare.  “Chin up child, I would not have suggested you for this part if I knew you weren't born to do it, while it can be scary just remember there is an angel watching and listening to every word you sing and he’ll be nothing but proud of you”. The words she spoke nearly brought me to tears right then and there. I felt so much riding on my performance, not for the fact of what the audience, the actors, or the owners of the opera house would think but what he would think. My Angel. He's coached me, trained me, helped me find my voice and I can't let him down… I won't. “Thank you, I need to make him proud, it's the only thing that matters.” and I shoot her a meek smile as the band begins to warm up and the curtains begin to open, let the opera begin. 

I belt out the final note and with that the opera is over, and a standing ovation begins. I can't believe I actually did it! I peer out into the audience taking in everything and I see in Box 5 a familiar face. Dual toned eyes piercing through my soul, with a sense of familiarity to it. “It can't be” I say to myself and try to focus through the bright lights to make sure it's him.. But I can't be sure. The curtain falls and I search for Madam Imperator. As soon as I spot her she answers my question without me saying a word, as if she knew what I was about to say. “Yes he's here, I'll take you to him now.”  She takes my hand and guides me through the chaos that is backstage to a small hallway located right near my room, and there he is, waiting looking the exact same as he did all of those years ago, with a touch more silver in his hair in all this passed time. “y/n is it really you?”  “Copia, I can't believe you're here!”  He runs and we embrace in a hug that feels like it healed all the wounds in both our lifetimes. “I can't believe this, what are you doing here?”I said with bewilderment. “My mother.. She told me, I had no idea you were here at the opera house?”  His mother? How would his mother know me to tell him? “Oh? Your mother? Interesting, well I've been here ever since father passed . Madam Imperator took me into the opera house and helped me keep my fathers voice alive through me, well that's what she says at least.” I said with a slight chuckle at the absurdity of that statement, since no voice could ever compare to that of my fathers, but I'll take anything to keep me close to him and his spirit alive. “Well, I think your performance calls for a celebration! I'm going to go bring the carriage around while you get changed” Copia says as he takes my hand softly and kisses my knuckles and vanishes just as quickly as he appeared.

 You enter your dressing room, which has been littered with dozens and dozens of bouquets, a very strong contrast to earlier this evening when it was just your belongings, considering your dressing room was also your personal bedroom since you've lived at the opera house. You glance around at all of the beautiful arrangements of flowers but one single flower catches your eyes. A simple black rose laid right on your bed. You gently bring the flower up to your nose and breathe in its fragrant smell, when you notice a small piece or parchment laying below it. 

“ The voice of an angel shall be cherished and rewarded, you made me so ever proud” You gasped as tears started to form in your eyes. “It can't be him… can it?” The angel your angel, you hadn't seen him, merely heard him in the late  hours of the night bringing you comfort in those moments you had nothing but yourself. You felt anxious but yet so relieved that he approved of your performance. You set the rose in a simple crystal vase and headed into the bathroom to ready yourself for your celebration tonight. 

You come back into your bedroom after your bath and head to start to change when with a simple gust of wind all of the candles in the room snuff out. Your breath hitches in your throat as you try to adjust to the darkness, when you start to see a faint glow from the gold ornate mirror that hangs on your wall, and a low tune begins to hum out to you, as if the air surrounding you were simply vibrations. “Can’t you see that you're lost, can’t you see that you’re lost without me?” You jump and start to look around, the voice barely above a whisper. “ Can’t you see that you’re lost?” The voice says a bit louder and more assertive like it demands an answer. “Angel? Angel is that you?” i say with a slight quiver in my voice. “ Il mio bellissimo fiore, How can you even question if it's me?” You gasp as tears start rolling down your cheek, desperately looking around to see if he's there or if his voice has come to haunt you again.  “Angel, where are you? Please, I need to see you.” you said almost pleading with the unseen person.  “Amore mio, look in the mirror. I'm here, I always have been.” You nervously rise from your bed, head spinning and not sure if this is even reality at this point. You hesitantly make your way from your bed to the mirror in the corner of the room. As you begin to approach the mirror you hear rumbling from the other side of your door. Copia he must be here. As you begin to look over at the door the rumbling in the room begins to grow louder as if to snuff out any outside noise. Your head snaps back to the mirror and you continue to approach as though you were in a trance-like state. You start to notice a silhouette in the mirror that stood in place of your own, though you can't make out any features  except for one, a white eye piercing into your soul, eyes not so different from Copia yet you knew it couldn't be him considering he was banging on the door but those eyes felt so comforting to you. The angel placed out his hand, you looked at it knowing that if you accepted his hand it had to be real, he had to be real. You delicately placed your hand in his and his grasp tightened onto it, as if now that he physically had you, he was to never let go.

[starsarefire824]

Fic Recs

In honor of things being shitty in the tag right now and everyone in their depression era, I'm offering a few fic recs in these trying times. Hope you discover something new, friends. 🖤

the comforts that make us feel numb by passerine_in_jade.

“No, but really. If I were a girl,” Mike presses on, looking up at Will with red-rimmed eyes through dark lashes. Leaning in. Somehow, fully unaware that this line of questioning has Will's heart climbing up to his throat. “Would you want to kiss me?”

or, Will and Mike get high in the desert.

Well written, almost dreamy quality to it. Author to watch for me! Can't believe I only just discovered their writing.

A Wish For Something More by @waroftheposes

Seven year old Will didn't have a problem with kissing his best friend on a dare. Seventeen year old Will, however, would not do it if someone held his hand over a fire.

Or: Truth or dare at seven and truth or dare at seventeen.

They're silly and sweet and oh so confused. The writing is lovely as well. Great if you're in the mood for fluff.

On the Same Frequency by @oldfashionedmorphine

Ever since his best friend Will Byers was murdered back in 1985, Mike Wheeler wanted nothing more than to leave his hometown of Hawkins, Indiana and never look back—only each and every year he’s forced to make an exception when it comes to the holidays. And when Mike visits for Christmas in 1995, his mom asks him to help clear out some junk in his room and down in the basement before he returns home to Indianapolis. But when he comes across an old trunk containing his Supercom walkie-talkie and ham radio, he discovers something strange that has the potential to change everything…

(or an AU inspired by the movie “Frequency” from 2000)

I'm only just starting this, but Frequency au?? Hell yes.

Fleeting by olliecoddle. @souverian-are-we

Mike liked Will’s art shows, albeit slightly less the higher class they had gotten. Little paintings in the corner of a cafe morphed into white walls and rich spectators poised with champagne and well-mannered criticism. Still, he had been looking forward to it. He wanted to go. But now, walking up to the glass doors, he had to admit he felt jittery.

or, Will's new paintings are a little too personal

This is one of my absolute favorites ever. The writing of course, it's ollie. But the descriptions, the entire buildup of Mike's reaction in the art gallery, the content of the painting? The entire concept is beautiful. And be sure to look up the painting Will's was inspired by. It will tell you everything.

any semblance of touch by anonymous.

“Nothing,” Will says, right into Mike’s ear. “Still feeling good?”

So good. Mike makes sure to not say it aloud this time. “I think,” Mike says slowly, heart pounding, “I need” — Will pulls back just a little, just enough for their noses to bump against each other, clumsy, and Mike bites the bullet — “one more.”

Will is still in Mike’s lap, which is maybe not very platonic of him, and the joint has smoldered its way down to the end, nearly over, all eaten up by the fire. Will swallows thickly, then leans closer, a perfect imitation of their positions from earlier. Mike isn’t sure how long it’s been, but fire has been eating away at him too, this whole time, leaving him on the brink of going up in smoke, slow and burning and so good.“Yeah?” Will murmurs, realization dawning on him, eyes wide. “One more?”

or: Mike’s still new to this whole smoking thing. Will has a few ideas.

Utterly depressing this is anonymous because the writing is phenomenal. So alive and vivid. Not sure where this fic was hiding, but I'm glad I found it. Highlights: Mike’s inner dialogue, the playfulness between them, the lowered inhibitions finally letting them relax into the moment.

nosebleeds from epiphanies (i took full in the face) by wheelersboy @karenchildress.

Hawkins, Montana, June 1988. When Lonnie Byers catches his youngest son in the arms of another boy, he calls in that favor owed to him by rancher Jim Hopper in Lenora: Will must work as an unpaid ranch hand and learn to "man up." Mike Wheeler follows him to the creepy ranch with electrical problems, like any best friend would.

jo's writing is always fantastic. he has such a unique voice and mike's struggle in this just does things for me.

When The Sun Runs Out by olliecoddle @souverian-are-we

On a dreary day in March, 1989 the population of Hawkins, Indiana dropped to four. Will Byers watched as the final family left, the bed of their truck packed to the brim and tied down with a tarp. Furniture stuck out at odd angles, and the corner flap flailed in the breeze as they turned onto the highway. Will followed the vehicle with his eyes until it disappeared as a dot on the long stretch of pavement. Then, he got in his car and went home.

Or, Will is burning out, and Mike is mesmerized by the flame.

This was sexy as hell and all I'm gonna say is tattoos. I really enjoyed this little rougher around the edges, let down by life, closed off Will after being left in Hawkins alone with El, Hopper, and Joyce to wait for the end of the world that never seems to come.

dirty rain by henrycreel

mike wheeler is an average alpha teenage boy working on keeping tight control of his raging hormones in the wake of being seventeen years old, unmated, and a virgin who's never spent his rut with anyone before. when one of his teachers makes an innocent request of him, he finds himself spiraling almost right away. the omega sitting next to him in class is going to be his omega one way or another even if it means employing some traditional and unconventional means to show him who he belongs to.

will byers is an omega with a tendency toward anxiety and outright fear, marked by years of abuse at the hands of his father. high school should be a chance to open a new chapter for himself, but he only truly finds comfort sitting next to mike, an alpha whose presence seems to keep the usual mocking and bullying at bay. but when mike starts to cross the line from friendly classmate into so much more, will has no time to decide if he's ready to move on to a relationship of his own, to finding a mate to settle down with like his big brother already has.

mike is making the decision for both of them.

A solid Omegaverse fic! <3

[tigers1o1]

Sit with me for a moment while I talk about writing, and growth. (And if you're a beginner to any creative hobby, I urge you to listen)

A few years ago, at the start of my fanfiction writing journey, I joined a discord server that was for fans of a specific fairly popular fanfiction. There were many writers in the server, not just the one that created the server. I didn't really write fanfiction upon joining this server, but it only took a month and a half for them to encourage and convince me to start writing. This was almost 4 years ago and I've been writing fic ever since (I've been writing for much longer, though)

One of the things I most vividly remember from my time on this server was when I was talking to the creator about how she was writing this absolutely massive fic (i believe its currently at 500k words, but at the time of this conversation it was still around 80k). And I remember asking her, "How do you write such long fics? No matter how hard I try, I can only barely manage to pass 10k." and she said,

"I don't know. One day I just did it, and now I can't stop writing long fics."

For 2 and a half years, I never really understood. I didn't get how a switch could just flip and suddenly you can do it. That is until November of last year, when I started writing a silly little modern au that suddenly surpassed 10k. And I was 2/5 chapters done. And then the third chapter alone was 12k. And the 4th? 16k on its own. The fic ended up being 47k words total. I have no idea how I did it, and I'm not here to brag, but it's also one of my proudest works.

What I am here to talk about is how it happened just like how my old friend described it. One day, the fucking spirit of little gay boys possessed me and I wrote way more than I ever had previously. And now? I'm currently writing my 4th planned longfic. It just surpassed 10k, but I'm expecting it to be 60k. And after this, I'm going to finish another long fic that's already my favorite thing I've ever written (it's about half finished at the moment). I haven't written anything under 10k in a while.

And something very similar happened with my art. I've been drawing for nearly 10 years. And one day, I drew something that suddenly, after years of what I thought was shit, I was proud of. And sure, I've made shitty drawings since then and my skill has regressed at times, but I woke up one day with the ability to make something I was proud of.

I'm not trying to give you the impression that one day you'll just magically have the ability to do what you're dreaming of. However, if you work at something and you don't stop, even when it sucks and you can only write a few hundred words, one day, you'll be able to look at your work and see something you're proud of. And you'll think, "Now how did that happen?" because at some point you stopped trying to get to your goal, and you just started enjoying the process.

That 47k fic was born of a pairing I loved, and it was written for someone I loved. And I started enjoying the process of creation, rather than thinking about how good I wished I was.

If I leave you with nothing else, I hope that one day you'll wake up and find that you are capable of the things you want to achieve.

[bookwyrminspiration]

lowkey why do i kinda miss pre stellarlune tumblr. like, the random keepblr trends were my fav era (totally not biased because i left the fandom and returned post unraveled…)

i remember there was someone - can’t recall who (maybe a blog called lady-cadence-talle?) - who compiled a list of trends each month. ooh, the eye-switching one where we swapped out everybody’s eyes with everybody else’s. hooty vackers. i’m pretty sure someone actually started writing the amsterdam book.

i even miss the 2021-era bloggers. as far as i remember, some we don’t have in the fandom anymore (or people who aren’t as active maybe?) are nova, juline-dizznee (or was it jolie-reuwen? something like that), i remember someone named mellie? and of course, the leader of the sokeefe fics, the unmapped star (nattie) who is still active in the fandom i believe.

i remember the chaos after shannon’s first child’s birth, there was also an era where everyone drew the characters in the strawberry dress, and how can i forget… pink haired fitz. oh how i miss pink haired fitz. there was also a time where everyone made posts about how keeper characters would react if the roles were changed and they were real people and we were the book characters. who they would like the most, who they would ship, etc.

might be silly since it’s been barely 2 years, but i miss that keepblr. (lockdown keepblr, perhaps?) nostalgia seems to be hitting hard since i’m going to go to college this year LOL

You're not the only one. Keepblr is quite transient; people constantly come and go, meaning the environment, trends, and the like are different practically every year. There's always lots to enjoy, but there's also lots to miss

I've seen people missing how prevalent queer headcanons/works used to be. We still have them, but not as many. I've seen people who preferred the time before sokeefe was quite so present. It's always been here, but the last year or so it's really stepped up. And a while back, I, myself, was reminiscing on keepblr lockdown with Ink (soryasongsaa) and Tater (a-lonely-tatertot).

There's also lots of people to miss. cadence-talle did the chaos wrap-ups, but Lynn's not really around anymore and we aren't nearly chaotic enough for wrap-ups anymore. Nova's still here (cogaytes), though most people call them Avi (unless you meant someone else). Not sure about juline-dizznee. Mellie occasionally still does art (lemontarto). And Nattie drops in from time to time. But there's also so many people who have moved on, and so many people who have started to distance themselves. The tag is made up of almost completely different people--though there's also that steady handful who've been here for an eternity

We can't go back and we'll never recreate what was, but we can make the most of what we do have. And make something else to look back on fondly.

So I guess the moral of this story is we need to go feral and start causing more chaos again <3

[secretlywritingstories]

Ten years passes faster than you realise. I started watching YouTube properly from summer of 2013 and one of the very first YouTubers I found was Connor Franta. Then 1,5 years later, he came out as gay. That's exactly ten years ago today.

He made a video to remark on that decade past where he talked about how he hardly recognised himself in his old videos. And emphasised how much he appreciated being gay because of the perspective that it gives him.

Connor was arguably my first YouTuber "crush" because I thought that he was cute and funny and I found his videos drawing me in. He sparked my interest for the whole vlogger thing, which lead me to following a whole hoard of vloggers pretty consistently from 2013-2018.

I didn't know that he was gay when I first started watching. I didn't know I was queer when I started watching him (which is the important part). Throughout 2014, I started to wonder if he might be gay, but I still remember the elated feeling in my chest when the coming out video hit my inbox.

It fit, for the lack of a better world. A filter flicked off as he addressed us. It felt right. Even as he'd made himself into being this boy next door who talked about relationship stuff and girls a lot. And his content has changed a lot in the following decade, but it also didn't. I still watch all his videos because I enjoy his perspective. If anything, I enjoy it so much more because he's also queer.

Him reflecting on that time in his life, a decade ago when he decided to upload that coming out video, without knowing the ripple effects it could cause for him and his audience, pulled me right into self-reflection alongside him.

I watched the coming out video ten years younger, still merely believing myself an ally to the LBGTQ+ community. I was about halfway through my bachelor and I had no idea what I wanted to do. I had only just started posting fic on Wattpad mere months before.

And now I'm here and queer. Having gone through micro labels that helped me feel belonging, only to mostly embrace umbrella terms now. Gender as funky as my sexuality. I've finished my masters five years ago and I've been working at my current job for 3,5 years. I've got a decade of fics under my belt and nearly 200 works and 4 million words to show for it.

I still don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my life but I'm embracing all of the good things in it. My family, my friends (many that I've made through getting into YouTubers and subsequently Dan and Phil), my pets, my interests and my writing.

And there's still so much life ahead of me. I'm not someone to think 5 or 10 years ahead because that's frankly terrifying as fuck, but looking back gives me hope for the future. And I'm thankful I've always let myself dive nose-first into my interests because they've always brought so much love. I can't imagine what my life would be like without discovering those early Connor Franta videos and all the domino effect that's followed since then.

I didn't know either of us was gay when I found him, but maybe life works in strange ways. Maybe my queer heart resonated with his gay one. I'm proud of him. I'm proud of me. And while I don't like looking too closely to the future, I shall still leave this: May the next decade be kind to both of us!

[nerdanel01]

No. 9 - Dilemma

But Johanna was not waiting for him in the public parlors. Curiously, she had posted herself up in the corridor leading in their direction. The past months had worn on her, aged her. Now, however—even from a distance—Emmrich could see that she was literally bouncing on the balls of her feet with excitement, her hand clasped briskly behind her back. The Mourn Watch insignia gleaming white upon her breastplate matched the glint of her teeth, revealed by the too-pleased grin on her face. 

Approaching her, he asked, “I thought you were going to meet me in the parlors?”

“Couldn’t resist.” Johanna’s grin widened. “You are not going to believe it. I didn’t believe it myself, when the docents came to tell me.”

“To tell you…?”

“Who was waiting for me,” Johanna replied, sweetly, “on the Necropolis steps.” 

Johanna gestured for Emmrich to follow her, turning and leading him down the corridors, to the public parlors the Mourn Watch staged to receive visitors. “You recall, of course, how the lower levels of the Necropolis have devolved into a quite literal den of horrors after the sky opened up and started spitting out demons a few months ago?”

“It is impossible to forget,” Emmrich answered, cagily. What did that have to do with the visitor they were on their way to greet? And why was Johanna in such high spirits about it? Johanna was his friend, and it was good to see her happy, but he did not like the smug look of satisfaction on her face one bit—

“Guess who just showed up offering to help us with that particular problem.”

Emmrich’s mouth and throat went dry. “Who?”

“Oh, I don’t know…” Johanna teased, giving an exaggerated, theatrical shrug. “Could it be, perhaps, one of the best Watchers I have ever had the pleasure of serving alongside? Perhaps even someone I proudly recruited myself?” Emmrich’s heart dropped into his stomach. ‘She cannot be saying—’ “Perhaps, someone you chased out of my guard over two years ago? But that would be crazy! What are the odds?”

The door to the public parlor was just coming into view around the curve of the hallway. From within, Emmrich could clearly hear a set of voices, raised in argument.

“Oooh,” Johanna said, furtively, “it sounds like the girls are fighting.”

“Johanna,” Emmrich said, fighting to keep his voice even, commanding. “Who is in there?”

Johanna only lifted an eyebrow at him, too self-satisfied, it seemed, to give him a straight answer. As they neared the entrance, the voices within the parlor became more distinct:

“…able to face the Elvhen God of Rebellion, but not your old boss?” 

“…sounds like an appropriate division of labor! I brought you here, Lace. Now I’ll handle Fen’Harel, and you can deal with the Mourn Watch—” 

Hot and cold all at once, mind blank and fuzzy, paralyzed with hope. Emmrich nearly tripped over his feet, forgetting how to walk, how to breathe as he reached for the doorknob. He knew that voice, he was sure of it—!

And if he had not been—if there was even the tiniest part of Emmrich that was not wholly confident of what he was about to find—it was not left to wonder long. Because as soon as she had thrown those words in response to whomever it was she was arguing with inside the parlor, Agnes had flung open the door.

[read full fic]

--- I’m really proud of all the writing I did this year! So for the last ten days of 2024 I’m going to be reblogging my 10 favorite pieces that I wrote.

This is probably my favorite bit of Johanna I've written all year. It's still a little OOC, since it was written pre-Veilguard, but I do think it's the closest I came to her actual in-game energy... primarily because she is so smug and a little (a lot?) sadistic here.

I have such horrid things in store for my beloved lich wife in 2025, I can't wait til I get to the part of my long fic where I get to write herrrrrr

[hils79]

Hils Watches The King's Avatar - Ep 40

It doesn't feel like 5 minutes ago that I started this drama. It's so very bingeable.

It's been a real journey. None of this has been what I expected beyond the very basic concept of 'it's a drama about esports'. There have been so many wonderful surprises. There are characters that I hated that I now love, characters that I loved that I now love even more, and more ships than I ever expected to ship.

While I'm at it I want to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone who has popped up in the replies to my posts or in my asks to either answer my questions or just yell about their favourite characters. I can tell this drama (and the novel and donghua) are so well loved and liveblogging this has really felt like a community experience. Thank you for not laughing at all the stuff I got wrong and for not making fun of me for shipping everyone. It's really been so wonderful and I almost don't want to press play on the final episode because I don't want it to be over.

But I need to see what happens so let's go!

Ah, okay. I misunderstood what happened at the end of the last episode. I thought they'd lost the game but no they could still win they just didn't have enough points to win the championship.

Is there going to be some loophole like the whole 'oh the ref's watch broke so actually you won'

HAHA! I fucking knew it! They got an extra two points for beating a league record. Because apparently that is a rule that has never been mentioned until now.

Eh, whatever. There was a nice moment with the fans before the found out they'd won

Ye Xiu finally gets the hug that he's needed since episode 1

Good lord how is there 30 minutes left? What's going to happen now that they've won?

God I hope Sun Xiang punches him

Except of course he won't because he's all grown up now. Also, typically it's the coaches/managers that get fired when a team does badly. I hope he gets booted

Love Shaotian dragging Wenzhou to his feet so he can cheer

Remember when their entire fanbase was just this guy. I'm definitely not crying at all

Look at that little half smile. He's grown so much considering they only lost on a technicality. I do think he's at least a little bit happy for Ye Xiu as the better player (for now)

GDI I can't believe I'm crying over Sun Xiang AGAIN

LOL remember when I thought he was going to be the antagonist of the drama when I watched the first episode. How wrong I was

Haha yes let's have a little joke about the time when I nearly banned you for life in the middle of an important game and caused your team to lose as a result

I have in no way been thinking about writing some King's Avatar fic with one based on the fact that Ye Xiu passes out after one drink

HAHA! Mo Fan pretended to pass out too so he doesn't have to talk to anyone. He is such a mood

Oh shit! I did not see that coming!

Oh no he looks so sad to see his former team like this, and it's understandable. He built that team from the ground up and put so much time and work into making them the legends they were

Yes, good. Baozi is cuddling one of his boyfriends as he should

Ah, yay, I'd forgotten about the team graphic. Time to add one more person right before the end

And finished! That was wonderful! Definitely in my top 5 dramas that I've watched this year. Might even be the number one, actually. I definitely should have watched that years ago when people first told me to give it a try. But, you know, I firmly believe you find things when you were meant to find them. Now was good.

I'll be starting a new drama tomorrow. If you were just here for my King's Avatar posts it's been lovely to have you. If you're sticking around for other liveblogs I'll see you tomorrow for more yelling :D